As simple as I love you

Sometimes I wonder what makes us love people. As I was searching for answers to my questions, I've found out one thing: there is no definite answer. I am not sure if it is indeed caused by certain chemicals produced by our brain or it is simply because we chose to love that specific person we have fallen for. I always ask my husband why he loves me, and I get a very confusing answer; I don't know. That's what inspired me to write the poem below. I was trying to provide an explanation for his answer, and remarkably, I understood him because when I asked myself the same question, I ended up having the same answer as his. =)


I’ve been asked before why I love you
I thought I would be able to answer
I searched for words that would justify
But my mind went shut and my mouth went dry


There is nothing extraordinary about you
Your hair, your face, your eyes, your nose
Everything’s the same with others
Why did I have to choose you and make my doors closed?


I’ve wanted someone to woo me
Someone that would say good things about me
Someone that would take the moon and the stars
And promise to make me the center of his universe


Nothing ever came out of your mouth
No words that would make me head over heels in love with you
Not by words did you win me, now that is true


But All you did was show it all
And that’s what you just had to do

Never did I hear you complain about me
Even when I’m not in my best mood
Although there are times you lose your cool
At the end of the day we sort everything out
Just like what they do with math problems at school


You gave me love just by stroking my hair
When you had no idea I was pretending to be asleep
You gave me love by accepting me for who and what I am
And making me feel complete

Now I ask myself why I love you
But still couldn’t answer why
But it’s okay because now I know
That true love can’t be explained by words nor be justified


I love you because that’s how I feel
I love you, my husband for no reason at all
I love you without hesitations and limitations
And I know I don’t have to explain it all.


I love you for who you are, for what you are, and what you will still be,
I love you my better half and your presence is all I need to be blissfully happy.

Thank You

Sweat trickling from Your brow
Blood gushing from the wound inflicted in You
Shouts of people whom you chose to save
You could have said no but still you did what You had to do

Crown of thorns on Your head
A mockery of your real identity
We have trampled upon You
Unknowing, ignorant breed of people that we are

Thank you Jesus for the blood You’ve shed
Thank you for the life you gave
Our hurts wouldn’t compare with Yours
Because of You Heaven and Salvation have opened its doors

Whatever are we worth that You have sacrificed Yourself
To become payment for what was done more than 2000 thousand years ago
The Father closed His eyes, let His Son endure the pain
Angels grieved for the Lamb of God that was slain.

Thank you Jesus for the blood You’ve shed
Thank you for the life you gave
Our hurts wouldn’t compare with Yours
Because of You Heaven and Salvation have opened its doors

Running, we will be running
Chasing, chasing after You
Running, we will be running
Running away from the filth of this world
To come to You, to be welcomed by You

Plea

We keep running away from
From the embrace of love
Love is the main point of it all
All of it wasted and we’re now breaking, falling

Falling in the snares of the world
Allowing ourselves to love what shouldn’t be loved
Forgot about Your teaching
Fools to have been deceived

Your blood is the sacrifice
Giving us life
Cleansing the dirt, erasing the pain
Make us be born again

Welcome us in your embrace
Help us stand tall in this ruin
Don’t turn away Your face from us
Hear the cry of your people

Save us from the depths of darkness
From the pit of anger
From the fires of insecurity
Who would eat us up, eat us up

On Teaching and Learning

I was browsing through one of my friend's blogs when I saw an article about teaching. It brought me back the memories of being a volunteer teacher in the boondocks of Mt. Apo. Even before I graduated from college, we were already sent to UP Diliman to study subjects that are in line with teaching. We were given education units, seminars, and trainings that would equip us when we get to the areas where we were supposed to teach. I was assigned in Temporan, Magpet, North Cotabato. When I arrived in the area, I was full of hopes, determination, and ideals. I thought being a volunteer teacher was easy. I handled the four year levels of a local high school there. I taught the English subject. After a number of sessions with the students, I realized that it wasn't easy. Some of my students could barely read, and yet they were already in high school. Some could read but after reading a certain selection, they are not able tell if they understood anything. At the end of the day, they would forget all the lessons we discussed because their minds wandered on the chores they were supposed to do. They would be absent in class when it is season for the harvest of corn. They needed to help with the harvest because they are also expected by their parents to contribute to the family's income.

I was very idealistic when I graduated from college. I told myself I would really make a difference. But, there came a point in my teaching career that I wanted to quit, simply because I wasn't able to meet my own expectations, expectations of myself and of my students. I cry every night thinking that my existence in the area was not helping anybody at all. The students could not cope up with the curriculum the Department of Education wanted us to teach. It was really frustrating. However, as I was reminiscing the days that I spent with my students and in the area, for the entire year of being a teacher, I realized something. I wasn't only there to impart knowledge and teach the underserved area of Temproran, I was also there to learn. I shouldn't have attempted to be a hero when it comes to the students' education. It was enough that I tried to teach them something, sooner or later the values I taught them and even the English lessons we have discussed would be remembered by them. It was a two-way process, they learned from me, and I from them.

I learned to have a simple life; to cook without a stove, to fetch water from a well, to sleep without a single electric fan, to bear with the blackout if heavy rains occur, to leave the luxury that I had while I was in my parents' house, and lastly, to learn how other people value the lives that they have outside the "civilized" life that we have here in the city. I could still remember one of my students telling me that she does not consider their family poor, despite the fact that she has seven other siblings and that they do not have electricity nor her parents had regular income. She told me she never felt poor. As long as they are able to eat three times a day with adequate food in their table, that was enough for her. I could still remember the happy tone of her voice while she was talking about her family. I could see that she was happy despite their situation. They barely had the things that "city" students have. They are not aware of the new gadgets and the latest fad but I could clearly see in her eyes, she was happy, full of joy, if I may put it that way.

It is good to reminisce the past and learn something from it. Although we do have some regrets with the things that have happened, there will still be things that we can be thankful for, new learnings that we could use in our lives. I learned the value of contentment and simplicity from my students. I learned to give importance to what I currently have. I learned to appreciate my life better.